Making Changes - The importance of Emotions

How you feel at any moment will affect how you think and interpret the world as well as how you behave and react toward others around you.

If you are feeling angry, you will have a tendency to be irritated with anyone who tries to talk to you. But, change that to joy, and you will not feel annoyed when someone approaches you.

How you motivate yourself to change is driven by either fear or pleasure.

You are easily motivated to do those things that bring you pleasure because of how you feel when you are doing them. 

Joy can just as easily move you toward your goal or keep you from reaching it. It all depends on the context.

Ed Mirvish, for example, was strongly motivated to work and become wealthy simply because he feared not having enough to eat.

What you need to do is to choose the right feeling that will motivate you to accomplish any goal.

If what you are doing is not working then try anything else. You can change how you feel about something, you can change what you are thinking, you can change what you are doing. You can only change yourself. Anything else is beyond your control.

What are feelings?

• Feelings are the physical and mental reactions felt when interacting with the world. All feelings have a physical component. All interaction with the world evokes feelings.
• What you see, hear, touch, taste and smell triggers an interpretation of the event through thinking and an emotional response as a result. How you feel about the world is based on your experiences.  And new experiences trigger the same old, deja-vu responses.

What are feelings of depression?

• a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity
• sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy

What are feelings of joy?

• a mental state characterized by an optimistic view and confidence in one's ability to cope
• feelings of pleasure and inner peacefulness

An Exercise To Get In Touch With Your Feelings

Many of us go around living in our heads. We are barely aware of our body and feelings. This relaxation exercise will put you in touch with your body.

Find a quiet spot where you can put your feet up and your head back.  All you are going to do is tense one part of your body and then relax it. Then move to the next, apply tension and then relax it. Ok, this will start you off.

Close your eyes. 

Start with your toes. Scrunch them up tightly, take a deep breath, then let them relax, releasing your breath at the same time.

Now scrunch, deep breath,  your both whole feet and then let them relax, release breath.

Then your calves. Scrunch,deep breath and relax,release breath.

Then Thighs and move up, muscle group by muscle group until you reach the top of your head.

Do this exercise once a day, every day.

After doing this for a while you will become aware of how much more in touch your are with the feelings in you body and muscles.  You will know when you are tense.

From Depression to A More Healthy Body

Spend some time on each of  the following steps. To be successful you must spend at least 1 to 2 minutes on each step. Really get into them. Use your imagination. See yourself in the each situation.

1.  What is your motivation for depression? Is it the fear of not being able to get what you want?  Is it the fear of not being able to cope? Really try to understand what is moving your feelings to depression. 

2. Imagine separating your depressed feelings from yourself. Really see the feelings on one side and you on the other. Keep them separate. We will use them later.

3. When you want to eat something, say a nice juicy burger, how pleasant are the feelings?  Separate those pleasant feelings from wanting to eat a burger and set them aside. We will need them later. Really see yourself separating the feelings on one side and the burger on another.

4. Now, feel the bad feelings that you set aside. Take those bad feelings that you are getting and imagine yourself about to eat that juicy and fattening burger. See yourself pushing it away from you because you do not want those unpleasant feelings.  Really feel the revulsion.  Make that picture as vivid as you can. 

5. Let us take that into the future. Looking back from retirement feel how healthy you are because you have avoided eating all those extra burgers. You feel content and happy and healthy.

6. Take those joyful feelings that you set aside before.  Really amplify the feelings, just the feelings. Now put those pleasant feelings in the place where your once felt inadequate. In that place you now feel joy. You feel happy and confident and resourceful. 

7. Vividly imagine yourself in the future just before retirement, feeling all the happiness you have brought to yourself and to the people around you, because you only have moments when you feel totally resourceful. Imagine how easy it was to accomplish everything you ever wanted. Feel how resourceful, successful and healthy you are.

You may want to do these steps 3 or more times. When you have done all the steps you should have resourceful feelings instead of depression and bad feelings about eating unhealthy foods.

Remember, a feeling can move you away from what you want or it can move you toward what you want. Feelings can also stop you from getting what you want or they can push you where you don't want to go.

You can be resourceful and healthy.

Please consider these suggestions as a guide only. Never hesitate to seek professional help when you feel the need to.