The Question:

How do I get over my anger with the abuse and trauma I suffered as a child?

Putting It Behind You

Everyone has a sad story to tell. Your past just got you to where you are now. The past is just experience. A memory.

It takes time but you can literally put it behind you.

This reminds me of a story. When I was ten years old I went to visit my Grandparents on their farm. While I was there I showed my uncle, who still lived at home, the warts in the center of my right hand.

He said to get a potato from the garden and to cut it in half. Then he told me to rub the potato on my hand. He said to put the two halves back together and to throw the potato behind me and never look back.

The warts would disappear as soon as the potato rotted away.

I laughed not believing him but two weeks later the warts disappeared. They never returned again.

Old wives tale or the power of suggestion? I know I secretly wanted to believe.

It is easier to accept a suggestion if you trust someone.

The Work Begins

First, imagine yourself for a moment bundling all those less useful, painful memories together and throwing them far away behind you.  And, never look back!

Find a pencil and make a list of all the good things that happened in your childhood. Now hold all those good memories to your chest. 

Imagine them totally replacing all the less happy memories in your mind.

As you let go of those old memories you will begin to feel better. It takes two to three weeks for this kind of thinking to release the pain and anger.

As time goes on they will have less and less power to hold you.

Forgive those who caused you pain.  This is as much for you as it is for them. Remember the lessons learned and let the memories go. 

Facing Forward

This is our timeline.
We have a past that we experienced.
We plan for tomorrow.  
We live today, the only time when we can actually do anything.

If you are focusing on the past, you are facing in a direction that you can do nothing about.

You are giving up living now to live in a memory of the past, where you are powerless to change anything.

You are a survivor. You made it to where you are because of who you are. Because you have what it takes to survive.

Appreciate yourself for having survived till now.

Focus on what you have right now. Be grateful for the air you breath, the roof over your head, the bed you sleep.

Look around you and appreciate all the things you have, the family that is there to share your life and love with you.

Beginning Again

With this in mind, think of something you would really love to do with your life. If you really want to do something then nothing will stop you.

If you are in a job that you just do to live, then start a new hobby or do work on the side to help you look forward.

Each day that you do what you need to do, reward yourself by doing that one thing that you love.

Create a history of happiness  by accumulating memories of small events that please you. Then you will always know happiness.

As a general rule, if something you are doing is not working then do something different. Set a new goal for yourself. And plan to take a small step toward your goal each day.

And, never look back, except to remember all those happy moments.