The Question:

I feel very tense and awkward in social situations and cannot get the words out.

What can I do?

Answer:

Anxiety in social situations is very common.

Most people experience it in some way or other.

You are focusing on how you feel.
What you are telling yourself in your mind is increasing your anxiety.

Focus on the other person instead.

The other person is not focusing on you either.

They are thinking about what they are going to say next, or what happened at work today, or what they are going to do after they talk to you.

Make some small talk. Its a game of word association. They say sports, then you say did you see the game last night, or which sport is your favorite, then the say...
You get the idea.

It is only casual conversation. No one remembers it 5 minutes after it happened.

Just smile a lot. Everyone will think you are a good listener.

A word game

You can practice word association at home. Imagine yourself saying stuff to a friend in a conversation.

Imagine them talking about the usual things they would talk about. Take a few key words like weather, sports, girls if you are male, boys if you are female.

Really see yourself saying those things to your friend. Look at your friend as you talk confidently talk.

Talking on the phone is also another way of practicing. It feels less threatening if you are not face to face and you have less to pay attention to.

A Relaxing Exercise

You can also learn to relax at home. The exercise I like the most is to sit back in a reclining chair close my eyes and alternate tensing and releasing each group of muscles starting with my toes, feet, ankles, calves, hips all the way to the top of my head.

A relaxation exercise can help you in several ways. You become more aware of your feelings and therefore more in control of them. You learn to relax. And, you learn to focus.

Learn a few jokes and practice the with family members. Or trying telling them to a friend on the phone. Then when there is a lull in conversation, you can always say, "Hey did you here the one about...."

Exit Stage Left

As they say in show biz "Leave the laughing."