How and what we say to ourselves often makes the difference between feeling happy and feeling depressed.

We all know that we can believe we can or we can believe we can't. In either case, we are right.

We all know the difference it means to us to say I can rather than I'll try. 'I'll try' gives you the option of failing whereas I can, I will, I do, I am are definite and do not give you that option.

Language motivates us, stimulates us, encourages us. So choosing to say something in a way that we find useful can make the doing easier.

Positive language is of course what we tend to call how we speak to ourselves when we are happy. There are other ways of saying things that serve to give insight, to help us to see something clearly or differently, that help us move closer to our goal.

On one forum that I often go to for my own insight someone asked "What can I do about my depression? I have taken pills and do not like to feel drugged. I don't want to take pills anymore."

Another user answered, "I got off the pills too. So one way to control your depression is to sleep a lot. When you sleep a lot you can't tell that you are depressed!"

I wonder when you can start to tell you are depressed? Is it when you start to think consciously?

Later another user asked "I am afraid all the time. What can I do about it?"

I answered "So you are worrying about being afraid. Worrying is imagining the worst that can happen. Imagination is a very powerful part of your mind. Can you imagine something wonderful happening instead?  That too happens, does it not?"

Our beliefs are what we tell our selves, the rules we make up to understand ourselves and the world around us. As adults, we need to question those words from time to time. After all they are rules we make up.

They are assumptions about events and people that we do not fully understand or do not know enough about. If we could not assume that we can drive to work safely, none of us would ever get there.

We all make assumptions. And these assumptions become our beliefs because we choose the proof. We select from our experiences those experiences that prove we are right.

What we believe about ourselves can prevent us from doing things that we want to do.

If you tell yourself you can't learn to play a guitar, then you have stopped yourself before you have even tried. You need to find a way to get passed what you believe. Really, there is nothing stopping you from learning to play guitar, except what you choose to believe.

That is true of anything. Anything another human can learn to do, so can you. It's just in what you tell yourself. It's just in what you choose to experience. It's just in what you choose to prove to yourself that you can do it.

Whatever you are interested in, you need to give yourself encouragement and reward. There are several strategies that you can use.

If you need to unpack boxes after a move, standing there and counting all the boxes and seeing all the work and totally making yourself feel overwhelmed is not how you are going to complete the job.

So as a strategy you can do this.

First, picture the room complete organized and livable. 

Think of how you will feel when you have completed all the unpacking and arranging.  Picture yourself standing there satisfied with how well you were able to complete the job.

Then start with one box. When you are done congratulate yourself and take pride in even that small task.

Start another box and complete it. And, again appreciate the effort you gave it.

When you have completed a number of boxes, take a break and as a reward do something easy that you like to do, like answering email or playing a computer game.

Then come back and work again for a while, doing exactly the same thing. Repeat this until the job is done and you feel exactly like you imagined at the start.

Success is having completed a task. Confidence is knowing that you have the ability to complete a task.

Remind yourself that you can use even these small tasks to build both your  feelings of success and confidence.

Language helps you to motivate yourself. Make your language, how you speak to yourself, how you speak to others work for your happiness and success.

And do the same for others.