Pushing Buttons

Last week a friend and I were discussing different thoughts about spirituality. When I mentioned being responsible for your thinking, the friend objected.

"People can push your buttons", he said.

"What buttons?", I asked. "Show me the buttons."

"It's just a way of speaking", he replied.

"Exactly!", I agreed. He looked at me in a manner that suggested exasperation, as though that wasn't quite what he expected.

OK! So there are no buttons. Only your imagination calling things buttons. The buttons are in your mind. They are just your thoughts. You say it's just a way of speaking. That is your thoughts again.

Call those thoughts what they really are. Your reactions, your automatic reactions, to what people say that you do not want to hear.

There are several things going on here. Your expectations of how people should think and act. The language you choose to dramatize the effect of other peoples' actions on you. And, how you choose to react to what people say to you or do around you. You are also saying everyone else is wrong and you are right.

First off, let us talk about the chain of events. Someone comes to you and says something. You remember that you don't like being told that. Then you react by speaking in anger or whatever.

You expect people to behave according to your standards, your expectations. They have their own standards. They are their own person. You cannot tell another adult how to behave. It is their choice. Are you expecting the whole world to behave according to your standards?

You remember, in an earlier article, I wrote about a little test that you can give yourself. If someone came up to you and did something to "push your buttons" how would you react.

What if that someone were your boss? Would you react exactly the same way as if it were your child or wife or husband? Besides which, you can respond by getting angry, or by joking or by changing subjects. I'm sure you can think of many other ways besides getting angry.

We choose how we react. As someone pointed out to me, if you take your time and respond rather than react, allowing yourself some time to think about what your response will be, you will likely make a wiser choice.

Past, Now, Future

Where do you live? Lost in the past reproaching yourself for things you might have done? Or worrying about the future?

What is happening to you right now? Now is the only time! Everything else is a re-interpreted memory of past events or your imagination of what may or may not happen.  Both are, at this moment in time, just illusions. Tricks in your mind.

Someone asked what I meant by enlightenment. My definition is very simple. You are enlightened when you become aware of your thoughts. When you become aware that what happens in your mind is your responsibility. You are in control of your mind.

Simple does not mean easy. Your automatic programs are so engrained that they will run when you least expect them to. Just be patient with yourself.

If you are aware of your thoughts then accept that the automatic program ran and acknowledge that it needs changing. Then next time you are faced with a similar event you step back and do something different.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying memories from the past. And there is nothing wrong with making plans for the future.

There is a difference, though, in constantly reliving the past or worrying about the future. Nothing can be gained by either. Life happens here and now.

Being constantly lost in thought is not being aware of what is happening now.

You can easily focus on the moment, by noticing your surroundings, by really seeing the person in front of you, or by become aware of the warmth of your hands, the position of your feet or focusing on your breathing.

Direct your senses to what is around you. Focus your mind on absorbing everything in your immediate environment with deciding if it is right or wrong or according to your expectations.

Life just happens. Whatever happens just is.

The path we choose at any moment is the path we live. The only choices we have are the ones available to us at this moment, here and now.

Seeking Truth

The other night, I watched a program on TV, titled Truth Seekers. Two scientists were seeking the reason for our awareness. How are we aware that we are conscious?

Each collected information about near death experiences. The first scientist presented a theory that we have a soul. We are spiritual beings. The second scientist presented the theory that everything can be explained by our material brain mechanisms.

They both looked at the same statistics, yet both arrived at different conclusions.

My conclusions are that science is not infallible. Scientists are just human beings searching for answers just like all other human beings. 

Like all other human beings, they are selective in what they choose to believe. They generalize, distort and discard any evidence that disprove their theories. On the other hand, both could be right. Their theories are not mutually exclusive.

Our mind is a tool.  Our mind is not there to punish us or torment us. We cannot make all the choices available to us at any time.

With practice, we can learn to use it for our personal benefit, our happiness, our enjoyment.