I've been curious about the workings of the mind since I discovered psychology at the age of 14. I've read many books on that subject including Freud, Jung, Adler, and many of the popular self-help books including "I'm Ok, You're OK", Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle. I have several shelves full of books.

My first insight into how the mind works and how it is the source of what we understand and believe was when I read NLP. NLP talks about being programmed by the adults that surround us while from our blank state at birth, when are growing up, to when we start independently judge our own experiences.

Eckhart Tolle shows you the how to and importance of living in the moment. While studying his books with a group called Conversations with God, I gained an insight that has changed me greatly. The changes were not instantaneous, but have been gradual. The insight is simply that your world is inside your head. We create our reality of the world with our thoughts.

Recently I read about Sydney Banks and his 3 Principle Psychology. Banks three principles are Mind, Consciousness and Thought. Mind is the Life energy that allows Consciousness. Consciousness is being Aware of our life form and our ability to think. Thought is the mind activity that permits us to interpret our world, our reality. We create our reality of the world with our thoughts.

All thoughts, and all human activities, result in feelings. Our Thoughts create whatever we imagine, and we believe it is real. Fears, Anxiety, Stress are all created by our thoughts and we believe those thoughts. Thoughts are a reaction to our environment, our experiences and our memories. Thoughts create our feelings.

Thought is very private and subjective, in our own head. That we have Free Will means that we can choose to act on our thoughts, to allow a thought to dominate our behaviour. A belief is a thought to which we have become attached. One which, we allow to dominate our thinking and behaviour.

For years, a cousin of mine would call our family whenever she was in the neighbourhood. She lived at some distance from us, but often called on relatives in our city during holidays. Members of my family all felt that she was being a pest, just calling us to pick her up at the bus station.

One day I mentioned how I felt to my sister. She was startled by my impression. "Oh, no", she exclaimed, she (our cousin) just wants to keep in touch with our family, and keep the family together." I was taken aback by this answer. My belief was that she was just using us. But, then I thought about my sister’s perception.

From then on, I looked forward to hearing from my cousin. And, when, in the end she died, I missed hearing from her. She was the only connection that I had to my mother's family. And, she had understood that and tried to keep us together.

So, in one instant, in one thought, I changed my belief. One thought.

Let's say you believe that you can't sing in public because you are too shy. What if your belief isn't true? You can sing anywhere. What is stopping you? One thought. You are allowing the thought that you are too shy or what would people think and so on, to make the decision for you.

I recently performed in public after practising singing over the last 3 years. I always felt that I wasn't good enough. But, I began to notice that a lot of people just sing to be heard, sing because they love performing and singing in public. They don't seem to be concerned with 'not good enough'.

I bought some self-hypnosis Cds, listened to a workshop on the Alexander Technique on Youtube. I read about 3 Principles Psychology. I was determined to overcome my shyness. When I finally walked up on stage, I was totally surprised by how comfortable, calm and peaceful I felt. I was preoccupied with playing my guitar, keeping in sync with the other players, exchanging riffs and  then actually singing.

As I sang, I was preoccupied with hearing my voice over the amplifier, making sure I was close enough to the mike, making sure I was loud enough and not too loud and, aware of how I was sitting to produce the best sound. My Thoughts were focused on what I was doing. I forgot to be shy!

When it was over, I was ecstatic. It was over too soon. I could have stayed there a much longer time. Here I was just one thought away from my overcoming shyness. I had to the make that decision. I had to be ready in my mind, then I simply forgot to be shy.

It is my mind, my thoughts. If I choose I can do anything.

You need only take one step passed your fears. Your fear is a thought you are entertaining in your mind. That thought is not real. Touch whatever is in front of you right at this moment. Where is THAT fear in that touch? It doesn't exist. You are imagining it.  Your are creating fear by dwelling on that thought.

You don't need to act on every thought. You don't need to believe every thought. But, when you do, you have chosen to make that thought real. Behaving solely out of fear, as when you think yourself shy, is making real something that is not.

So next time you say "I can't because...." Ask yourself, "What if it isn't true? What would happen if I can? What would I accomplish if I didn't make myself, my thoughts, the obstacle to my actions?"