The single most important thing is Understanding. I learned this from many people both from books and conversations.

There is no secret Understanding that you don’t already know. You are just not yet aware that you know it. Many of the popular psychology writers provide similar information in a more or less direct fashion. I hope that this article helps you become aware and make use of what you know.

Sidney Banks explained the Three Principles that govern how we interact with our environment.

The first Principle is Mind, the life force that every being has. It is that life force which gives us Consciousness.

Consciousness allows us to be aware of our life force and our thoughts.

Our thoughts create the world as we know it.  Our thoughts allow us to interpret the world and the experiences we have at all ages. It is our understanding of the world that places what is important to ourselves foremost in our minds.

Every human action and thought results in feelings. Thoughts create feelings.

We can choose what actions we want to take and focus our thoughts on those actions.  We can choose which memories we want to entertain in our minds.

Once you understand the importance of Thoughts and how they can affect your day to day emotional state and behaviour, you can make more efficient use of your mind, by focusing on your moment-to-moment actions.

Change is the default human condition. As today slips into tomorrow a new day brings new experiences that you have not lived through before. Sure, you rely on your previous experience to handle day to day problems, but they are never actually, exactly the same.

Nothing is gained by beating yourself  up with recrimination, bitterness or regret, by reviewing all things you wish you could change in your past. They cannot be changed. That has just been the story of your life up to this moment.

Nothing is gained by worrying about the future. You can only do what you can in this moment, here, now, today. You can only work toward your goal moment by moment, day by day.

The idea is to free your mind from the past and the future. That doesn’t mean you need to forget the past. You just need to keep the pleasant memories and the lessons learned from past experiences.

When your mind does drift to the past, you can challenge every thought you have, by asking if that is really what happened or just your private interpretation. That will change how you feel about that memory.

When something occurs in your relationships with others, you can challenge every thought for its validity.

When you begin to feel sad or depressed, think of why you believe that you should feel that way. 

A belief is accepting something as true when it cannot be proven.  A belief is a thought to which we become attached.

I recently realized that I had a belief about talent. I don’t believe it exists. Or, at the very least it cannot be measured. So when someone commented on my guitar playing that I was so much more talented than they are, I started to argue my case.

You only recognize talent when a person has acquired a skill. Skill takes a lot of work, 53 years in my case. So where is the talent? How much of it is talent and how much hard work? I was annoyed even more when the person said I had a gift.

My wife commented that that person probably believed they were complimenting me. Whereas I was thinking of it as minimising and dismissive of my efforts to be a good guitarist.

After some thought, I realized that from their perception, they believe that there is such a thing as talent.  That is their interpretation of the world. Who am I to change their beliefs?

I am happy now to be aware of this tool; questioning the reality of any belief. This tool teaches me to be more aware of my own reactions in the moment. And, if I am preoccupied with memories of the past, I try to stay focused on how I am feeling.

A feeling is a signal that something needs to change either in your response to something that happened to you now or in the past or is happening to you now.

You do not need to believe any thought you have. A thought is just what you imagine in your head. Your mind always gives you options, allowing you  to choose whether you want to entertain a positive or negative thought, a happy or sad thought.

Always give yourself options by asking about any thought “What if that is not true?”, especially when the feelings you are having are not pleasant  and you are feeling fearful.

When you fear for your life, that is wise fear. When you fear because of what you think you can or can’t do, that is much less wise.

For some time, I have been counselling people anonymously, mostly teenagers, on a mental health website.  My answers to their questions is almost always the same. I try to specifically address their particular circumstances after telling  them to contact their family doctor for a referral to a mental health caregiver.

I ask them if they ever wondered about how their minds work. I quickly explain the 3 Principles in a few lines. Then explain how thoughts create feelings, how the thoughts they are having at that very moment are creating the bad feelings they are having. Then I point out that negative thoughts and memories create negative feelings. Positive thoughts and memories create positive feelings.

Here is another question I like to ask. What if you were to wake up tomorrow morning with your heart full of joy? How would the world have changed? What would you need to change in yourself?

It is all about your thoughts.