The Meaning Is You

Words in Mind

2009-11-08T22:00:00Z

We exist only in this moment. Only this moment is real.

Past and future do not exist. The future is a yet un-experienced series of moments. The past is just a story we tell ourselves about the individual moments we have already lived through. The past is how we explain our experiences to ourselves.

I find that thought extremely comforting, because all anxiety, all stress disappears. Stress happens because I expect the future to bring me more difficulties, or because I regret some experience from the past. By focusing all my energies on living this moment, all else fades to the back of my mind. I don’t need to explain to myself why I am doing this. My life is just this moment.

All I can say, at this point, is that I will have experiences in the future. Even my own death will be an experience. The experiences will be neither good nor bad for me. I will live through them just as I have the experiences of the past, in that moment. If I choose to interpret them as bad, then that is what they will be. If I choose to explain them to myself as positive then that is the effect they will have on me.

We become the words we speak to ourselves. We believe that what we say to ourselves is true. How and what we tell ourselves about us, our self, we believe is true.

If we believe that we can not do something, then we will not only not do it, but we will avoid any action that would make us test our beliefs.

For example, you fear public speaking, so would do it in spite of your fear? Since it is your believe that you can not speak in public, you are not prepared to change that belief because it would prove your belief wrong. And, then what else would change?

How and what we say to ourselves about our self and the world around us forms our belief system. We use our belief system to filter whatever the world gives us and to decide what actions we are going to take.

That belief system becomes like a brick wall through which we cannot go, even though with some effort we can actually climb over it.

A belief is a figment of your imagination. It is an idea that you have chosen to believe. No matter what your experience, if you do not plan to succeed you will never succeed. If you start to do something with the idea that you can not succeed because you believe yourself too weak or destined to fail, then you can not succeed.

Your words, the words you choose to tell yourself are going to limit you.

On the other hand, there are no guarantees that success will be what you define it as. Your expectations of what you want to experience may be different from what you actually experience.

Do what you intend to do, but appreciate what you actually experience. Don’t try to make life into the image of your expectations.

This is what the promoters of the “Law of attraction” fail to tell you. Maybe your life will unfold exactly as you dreamed it, but more likely life will unfold and you will have some experience. You need to appreciate each moment on the journey.

Once you have completed the journey, only then can you determine if you have reached the goal you set for yourself. You did set a specific goal didn’t you? Then look back an appreciate what you have accomplished.

As humans we anticipate our future, we are quick to judgement, we make assumptions. That is how our minds work. No matter how much information we get at some point we have to make the decisions for ourselves. We have to direct ourselves to take that first step, to take the action necessary.

When we realize that we only need to get through this moment, and each moment as we move to what we intend for ourselves, and appreciating each moment, each breath we take, each caress we give, each word of encouragement, giving as much as we receive, we become more focused on the joy that is.

Often we react to someone else’s actions. In order to be aware that something about another person annoys us, we have to observe their behaviour. That means that we are interpreting their actions.

You are relating their behaviour to your expectations, your beliefs that they should behave in a certain way, that you determine. You are facing backwards instead of living in the moment.

Leave your interpretation of the past to some idle moment. Only then, do it consciously realizing that you are making up a story to explain your experiences. Also realize that as you live each new moment, you will also be adding to and changing the story based on what you are living at this moment. The past is nothing if not a slippery slope.

Only you can choose the way you look at the world. Only you can choose to write your interpretation of life. You can choose to hide from the reality. You can choose not speak to someone because they do not believe or do as you say.

You choose the story. You add the drama. You add the struggles. You add the suffering. You add the pain. It is your story. Your words. Your mind.

Ten Check Points to Improve Your Life (and mental health)

2009-11-01T20:26:19Z

We go about our lives as though we are in control, then get frustrated by things not turning out the way we expect them to.

Why can’t we be as successful as that person? Why can’t our lives be as wonderful as that movie personality?

When we are thoughtful. we realize that we cannot control the world or even others that are in our immediate environment. The only person we can control is ourselves and how we choose to think about what is going on around us.

It takes a lot of courage to move from a negative attitude about the world to a positive attitude. It’s scary because we don’t know if it “will work”, if after all our efforts, we will truly find joy. This is especially true if, in our experience, things that happen do not bring us joy. Reaching passed that fear will make us stronger and happier.

Remember, change gets easier the more you stick to the new way of doing things. Set a goal to test you new way of looking at things. Stick to it for 3 months then 6 months, then a year.

Go back to some happening that made you unhappy. Find some way of interpreting that event in a happier light. Did you learn something from it? What if you had taken a different point of view? What if you had talked to yourself in a different way? What good can come of it?

How look at the world and how things happen is your choice.

Here a ten points that you could consider to get you started.

1. Stop looking for bad events. So often I hear people say “Bad things come in threes”. In order to confirm that, we ignore the good things that happen to us and just keep adding the bad things.

On the other hand, there are no good or bad things that happen to us, only experiences. We choose to name those events either good or bad, depending on what we are expecting in the moment.

2. Don’t over-dramatize events. If we have something insignificant happen to us that makes us unhappy, we are likely to exaggerate its importance. We tell ourselves that just proves how unlucky we are. The truth is, unless we are looking for something to prove that we are unlucky, an event is just an event. One event does not have a memory of an other. Only your thinking connects the dots.

3. Examine your expectations. We want the world to treat us a certain way. We want things to happen to stroke our egos, to make us happy, to bring us joy.

We have not control over what the world gives us. We can set our goals and just to walk a certain path. The journey will give us joy only if we find joy in each step. What we experience as we walk toward our goal, is just that, experience.

If we imagine that every moment will be magic, every moment will bring us happiness then we are expecting something that life cannot give you. Life cannot make happy. But you can find happiness and joy in living.

4. Examine your thoughts and thinking habits. Your thoughts are the choices you make to tell yourself about the world. At some time when you were a child you were at the mercy of other peoples thinking. They interpreted the world for you.

You may have some underlying disease or genetic inclination to view the world from a given point of view. Only you can decide to do something about it.

Now you can interpret the world for yourself. Become, aware of the way you think about the world. Choose to think in a way that brings you joy. So, there are no excuses. If you can think, you can be joyful.

5. Find joy in the moment. Each and every moment you live brings something new. You have this new moment which you have never lived before, nor will you ever live it again. Be joyful in your experience of this moment.

6. Accept life as it comes to you. Our destination in life is death. We can pretend it won’t happen, we can deny it, we can act as if it is somehow some evil accident.

Our journey is one way into the unknown. We live in our bodies full of awareness of this life. Once our bodies no longer exist, our awareness will be different. Taste everything that you have now in joy.

7. Give back for what you have. Easily the most difficult thing to do is help others when you see only misfortune in your life. No matter how difficult you find life, there will always be someone whose life is more difficult that yours.

Let other’s know that you are happy because you are aware. Because you are living in this moment.

8. Enjoy your family. Your family is the closest bond you will have in this world. If you can let your family know that you respect them, that no matter what they do, you can give them unconditional love. And, expect no less from them. Blood is thicker than water. Don’t make there behaviour a condition for your love.

9. Enjoy your friends. Your friends are a reflection of yourself. They bring things to you that you also bring to them. You share common likes and dislikes. Again, give unconditional love to your friends. Stick by them when they are having difficult times.

10. Be grateful for what you have. Think of all you have. Every small gift, every breath you take, every thought, every awareness of life. Even one small gift, this breath I take in this moment, can bring me joy. It is my attitude, my choices, my way of thinking that bring me joy.

Start with just one small thing about yourself that you think makes you unhappy. Then appreciate that it makes you unique, that it makes you who you are. Who you are is how you interpret your thoughts, how you are aware of life. And it is all up to you because only you can know what you allow yourself to think.

The first step is your choice. And each step after that comes from that choice. Do you want to be happy? It’s up to you!

Master Mind

2009-06-17T19:00:16Z

Your mind is a tool not a dictator.

When were children we accepted thoughts as coming un-bid into our minds. And it is true that memories are evoked by the actions you are taking right now.

So many try to justify their actions by blaming them on passed events. We are lenient on criminals because of their upbringing. We hold back telling a friend bad news because they have had such a hard life. We are selfish with our friends because we didn't get enough love as children.

As adults we recognize that we are fully responsible for our thoughts and actions. If we insist that how we think is how other people should behave, then we are building unrealistic expectations. We are not the rule makers for everyone else.

Our actions are happening now. The only connection that an event happening now has to the past is your memory of it. That is just rationalization. You are connecting the dots where dots are not intended to be connected.

By recognizing that you are in control of your mind, by recognizing that you have a choice about how and what you think, about how and what you say to yourself, you begin to master your mind as a tool.

At first this is strange. You have always been taught that what you think is who you are. In fact, you are more that what you think and how you behave. You are a spirit, a life force and it is to that life force, that awareness of being aware that you give control.

So step back for a moment, and monitor your thoughts. Imagine yourself standing in the corner of you mind and seeing your thoughts and feelings as words and images.

You only need to do this a few times to realize that you can change what you do and say to yourself.

Some people love drama and so create drama for themselves. I once heard it said that some people will never admit that they are ordinary people. Instead they create drama in their lives by imagining themselves related to royalty, or by associating only with certain people they deem worthy.

No one is ordinary. Each and everyone of us is totally unique. There will never be another you, to quote a famous song.

What we choose to tell ourselves creates the expectations we have of the world around us. And, yes, we choose our own thoughts even when they have become so habitual that we are convinced that there is no other way to think.

The thoughts that are in your head and the words you choose to express them with, to yourself or the world around you, are your own. It is those thoughts that create the feelings and expectations you have about the world around you.

So take responsibility for your thoughts, for your imagined standards, for your expectations. And, remember words are just empty air unless you take action. You may tell yourself that you intend to do something, but the words are worthless unless you actually do that something.

Who is in charge of your mind?

Even in a country where the state controls every public action, you can take charge of you thoughts and how you express them to yourself and others.

In some languages there is no single word for mind. Instead the word for spirit is used. Besides, there really is no mind, it is only a word we use to relate a bunch of things we do in our brain.

So master your thoughts. At least begin the journey.

So Many Expectations

2009-05-21T23:57:43Z

You expect fairness.

You expect a big reward.

You expect respect from others.

You expect love.

You expect your wife to wait on you hand and foot.

You expect your husband to treat you as an equal.

You expect to be treated as master of the house.

You expect your husband to do his share of the housework.

You expect that others think like you do.

You expect to be treated like a victim.

You expect to be treated like a hero.

You expect life will follow the path you choose.

You expect to survive this life.

You expect others to treat you well, without anger.

You expect others to be kind.

You expect others to judge you by your intentions not your actions.

You expect that life will treat you differently than others.

You expect mother and father to forgive you.

You expect your parents to treat you like an equal.

You expect equal treatment between races, ideologies, social classes.

You expect others to recognize your worth.

You expect to become powerful and wealthy.

You expect less stress.

You expect to be happy.

Are any of these working for you?

Time brings the events to you.

Can you tell what the future will bring?

Still, you have to find happiness.

Even as life is lived in the here and now.

Be aware of everything as you look about you, as if seeing your surroundings for the first, and last, time.

Taste your breath; relish the colour of the sky; absorb the breeze caressing your skin; admire the blue sky; hear the songs of your family and friends; hear the sounds of the city or country; enjoy the thoughts you have; enjoy the conversations.

Be there. Not on some imaginary voyage where everything turns out exactly as you expect. Expectations take you out of the moment, just as much as regret for the life you have lived.

The greater your expectations, the greater your suffering and stress and disappointment.

Accept what is. Be grateful that you are here and that you can experience life.

Expect only this moment.

Meaning

2009-05-14T18:30:24Z

We often hear of the press putting a spin on an event or finding the right angle for a story.

When something happens the press want to report on those stories that will most catch our attention. And, it must have a story, a sense of drama that remains with us and encourages us to read on and follow developments each day.

What is a story and how do you make it dramatic?

Let's begin with words. A word is a symbol for the real thing. A symbol not the real thing. So we can easily string words together to lead our readers and listeners in the direction we want them to go.

Even as I write this article, I am spinning meaning. I am trying to take you to a point where you challenge all your thoughts, all you beliefs, all your stories.

We can choose words to manipulate, emphasize and dramatize. We can make an event more important that it is by choosing the right words.

Does that sound familiar? Isn't that what we do with our daily lives.

A child does something which we interpret as misbehaving and we react accordingly.

Our spouse expresses an opinion that we do not agree with and we say they are picking a fight.

A word is not the same thing as reality. A thought is not the same as the real thing. We use symbols to make events meaningful. And we control the meaning.

We put the spin in story. We write the story. We find the angle within our beliefs.

If someone else spins a story, we believe it if it corresponds to our beliefs. If it does not correspond, then we discount it. We question the story teller's credibility.

What are beliefs but rules we have made up using those same words that are just symbols of reality painted the way we want our beliefs to end up. We control the meaning.

Take for example your history. The story of your life. We, all of us, have had experiences we would rather not have. We can spend the rest of our lives focusing on those unfortunate events, or we can see that our life is happening in this moment.

Living in the now means, simply accepting your life as it has been till now and focusing on you life at this moment. Accept what is. It is what it is.

If you are an optimist or a pessimist, in neither case are you focusing in the now. You are focusing on the future over which you have no control until it happens. Positive or negative, you put a spin on what you expect.

Acceptance and Gratitude and moderate Expectations are all aspects of happiness and of living in the moment.

Living in the now is being aware of where you would like to go without having firm expectations that it will turn out exactly as you imagine. The key word is imagine.

Be grateful for each moment you have, each person you are in contact with, each person you love.

If you expect life owes you everything, you will only find life meaningless. Your expectations may betray you.

Life is enough of a journey without giving the experience a spin or finding a dramatic angle.

Life is the story. The meaning of life is in the living.

A Wicked Smile

2009-05-01T13:00:24Z

You're walking down the street one day and a perfect stranger walks by. As you pass him, he looks you straight in the eye and smiles.

"What a wicked smile!", you think to yourself.

You draw your own conclusions.

The facts are simply a stranger walking by looks at you and smiles. Yet, in your mind you have to answer why. You have to give it a meaning that is compatible with your beliefs. You have to interpret the events.

You are playing in a singing circle and one of the players is sitting looking at you intently.

"He's thinking that I can't play well!", you say to yourself.

You draw your own conclusions.

You have become a mind reader. You are playing in an imaginary world. Your imagination gives you unproven conclusions.

The fact is you can never know what is going on in another persons's mind. Even when they actually say something in explanation, they are not telling you everything.

Too many of our motives for doing something are very complex. Add to that the belief that society frowns on the expression of feelings and you make things even more complicated. We may hide our feelings, but for different reasons.

In our daily lives, we seem to think that anything that happens around us should be easily understood.

I call this the sitcom syndrome. Movies and TV shows have a clear beginning and conclusion. The situation is resolved by the end of the show.

A TV show is just the manipulation of words and images to tell you a story and guide your thinking, your mind, to a chosen conclusion, while entertaining you. The medium is the message. TV networks need to sell themselves.

When we do or think something, we do it for many reasons. Not just one. Only we can know what those reasons are.

For example, you may take a job because you like the type of work, it pays well, you have a family to support, you have to pay for your daily needs, you are specifically qualified, for the prestige involved. And, in your mind, you may only be focusing on the one reason, while all of these other reasons act somewhere in your subconscious. And, you may not be giving them as much importance as the reason you are focusing on at the moment.

So, even when we are asked to explain a behaviour, we, ourselves may not be fully aware of all the reasons for that behaviour, even though the person asking is expecting a specific, single answer.

And, since we often know that we are expected to provide a simple answer, that is what we attempt to do. The first reason out of our mouth tends to be the one everyone latches on to .

Images and words are tools to manipulate understanding. If we choose to dramatize our thoughts and observations for our friends and family, then we are likely to dramatize those same events for ourselves.

A smile is just a smile. It is your mind that chooses to put a interpretation to it. If we choose to live in the now a smile is just a smile.

To interpret something is to rely on past experience, to choose what WAS over what IS.

Today is a new day. That is neither good nor bad. Only your mind can make it one or the other.

Reacting to Memories

2009-04-29T15:02:41Z

All experience is memory and we are constantly revising those memories based on new experience.

One moment after you have lived an experience, it becomes a memory. And, revisiting a memory at any time, causes some change to it. You are looking back with today's eyes. And, that look back paints the memory a different colour.

All behaviour is subjective and unique to ourselves. And, it all depends on your choice of words. I say I am being objective, you say I'm not being objective enough. And it's all subjective.

Memories are in your mind. You are the painter. The subjective painter.

Somehow we convince ourselves that we have separate identities. That we have distinct compartments labelled objective and subjective.

The dictionary meaning of a word is not the most important aspect of the word. When you look up the meaning of a word, you pretend for a moment that you have no emotions. That is what being objective means.

Even here, as I try to explain my own thoughts, I am weighing the meaning of the words, not the dictionary meaning but the emotional, rational, physical, and spiritual meaning of the word.

I am a whole person. My mind is not separated like the words suggest. I am rational, emotional, spiritual, and physical all at once. But I have an immense capacity to imagine myself as any one of those at any one time.

We are subjective beings. We are not subdivided beings. Words cannot separate us into parts. We make images in our minds of being individual parts. That is not reality.

Doesn't mean that I succeed in being. I can dream as well as anyone. All behaviour is subjective exactly because I dream up different scenarios. I dream being this supreme being with exact compartments into which I can divide myself.

At the same time, though, the ability to imagine becomes very useful for some tasks I need to carry out. I can think of a behaviour as distinct exactly because I can use a word that is defined. I can express the general sense of that behaviour to others.

But, in fact it does not explain what it means to me. Each word has its own drama attached to it. Drama that I have experienced.

What drama do you attach to your words? And, is it justified? How easily you are upset by small incidents can be a flag that you over-dramatize?

For example, if your spouse does the dishes, do you immediately check their work and scold them if they has missed some small particle on a dish or pan? Do you see that this is 'looking a gift horse in the mouth'? Your spouse did the dishes. That is the important event. Would you minimize that by finding some small fault?

A calmer approach, one that would not cause a family squabble, would be to clean the dish in question and tell them you appreciate them cleaning the dishes. And, leave it at that.

Every bit of your experience is memory. Experience is not so much what you remember as how your remember it. You can relive every experience with drama or you can choose to look at it as just experience.

Even the most traumatic memories can be moved to the past by realizing that you are living in a memory. You are recreating the experience in your mind and creating the drama that you focus on.

Expectations and Happiness

2009-04-19T17:39:50Z

Your happiness is your responsibility.

Happiness comes from appreciating what you are and what you have, accepting life as it is and focusing your expectations on yourself not the world around you.

We are a materialistic society. Many of us just want things, stuff as though getting more stuff will ever satisfy us. It is happiness we are looking for.

Yet how many of us ever stop to think that we are responsible for our own happiness? Happiness is not something we discover under a rock somewhere.

Happiness is Joy in the Moment. Happiness is appreciating a breath of fresh air. Happiness is appreciating our wife, our children, our friends.

So much of life is chance that we do not control. The only control we have is our self our immediate space.

We expect the world to respond to our control, to behave as we expect and plan our lives. I expected my parents would live to a ripe old age. Yet I am older that my father was when he died.

I expect that my neighbour hood will be safe. Yet, I hear of gang murders and child abductions. Not that these events happen as often as the media seems to suggest. But, nevertheless, these events are beyond our control.

If we expect the world to bow to our superior knowledge, then we are creating unrealistic expectations. And in the face of expectations, we become very frustrated, depressed and unhappy.

This brings us to our third contributor to happiness. Accept whatever life hands you because Life is about living and experiencing. Yes, even the economic downturn is experience.

Without trying to relive your experience, but simply evaluating it, try to find the lesson in each of those memories. If you focus on the moment, on experiencing life as it comes to you, then you will be aware that reviewing memories is life in the moment.

An exercise I have often used to get out of a blue-funk is to suddenly become aware of all the things around you. Focus on the computer as a machine, on your cup of coffee, on the rest of the furniture, the colour of the walls, the colour of the sky through the window. Notice the green of new flowers growing, the buds on the trees.

Happiness is being aware that you are alive, being aware that you breathe, appreciating the roof over your head no matter how humble, enjoying the food you eat, enjoying the touch of your spouse's hand, the smile on a child's face.

Even if you can no longer work because you have lost your job, you can enjoy those things, your family, you life as it is. You are on a journey, so enjoy as you travel through the time you are given.

Appreciate yourself, your family, your friends. Make your expectations only focus on yourself, how you want to behave. Accept the experiences that life gives you. They are neither good nor bad. They simply are.

The Real Secret

2009-04-01T15:09:06Z

Michael J. Fox, despite his Parkinson's disease has learned that happiness increases directly with acceptance and decreases directly with expectations.

If someone with a terrible condition as Parkinson's disease can learn to accept life as it is, should an able bodied person not be more easily accepting?

If you accept life as it presents itself to you without expectations, happiness will increase.

If your only expectation of life is that you will experience it and you accept whatever life gives you, you will be much happier.

If you expect that people will behave a certain way toward you then you will be constantly disappointed.

I remember going to do work for an elderly self-employed man. I was an accountant back then, doing books on the side.

My client, John, asked for my opinion about his adopted son. His son had broken off with his father.

John's son had insisted on quitting school and going to work in another city. Like most boys his age, he rarely called to see how his mother and father were doing.

John felt his son was ungrateful for being adopted.

His father expected his son to get the proper education to continue the family business. He was very strict with him as a boy. And now a rift had grown between them.

I held my tongue at the time.

In retrospect, I realized that John was not accepting his son as he had grown up to be. John was used to controlling everything in his small business. He wanted the same thing in his family life.

John had difficulty seeing that his expectations were about himself, not about his son. He could not accept that his son would have expectations that were different from his.

Life will just give you whatever it gives you. People will not behave the way you expect them to. No matter how hard you try, you cannot control your path through life.

Accept that fact. Accept that, and forget your expectations. Live life as a moment to moment experience and happiness will be yours for the taking.

The more you expect of life, the more you want it to proceed in the way you think it should, the more frustrated and unhappy you will feel.

If you expect to be treated "fairly" at work, in a highly competitive environment, then you will become very frustrated, tense and unhappy.

Learn to accept that people will be competitive without judgement and your happiness and relaxation will increase your happiness.

If your only expectation is that life will unfold, and if you accept that fact then you realize that happiness is just living in this moment.

If there is a real secret to life, then that is it.

Follow The Evidence

2009-03-18T15:22:49Z

Have you ever been so curious about an idea, so fascinated by your thoughts that you have allowed yourself to explore them in every aspect?

Allowing yourself to follow the thread of a thought can totally change how you think, how you view the world and yourself.

For example, if you are trapped by paranoia, fearing that others are thinking badly of you or plotting against, you decide to explore if that is truly the case.

Surely you want to know whether it is true, so you start by examining factual, real evidence.

Of course, you want to be careful that the evidence you are gather for yourself is actual and not something you manufacture in your mind.

We are captive to our thoughts, especially those that enslave us to our fears. In our computer-like minds, it is as though we have little programs that run whenever we run into circumstances that trigger those chained thoughts.

Our programs are like an accumulation of emotions waiting for some noise to trigger an avalanche. Then when that specific something happens, down comes all those pent up emotions triggering fears in us.

We create walls from our mental fears. We stop ourselves from growing by telling ourselves that we are limited. We put words up in our mind that prevent us from taking action. We think ourselves to a stop.

Yet, none of these limitations are real. We need to examine our motives. Do we fear what will happen?Is it that we really don't want to do the work that following an idea may require? Is it that we fear that the result will not be as expected?

We are brought up with the idea that we know what success and happiness really are. And, that is a problem.

Is success really owning the biggest car? Is happiness the end result of having a barrel full of money?

For example, let us consider people who are perceived to be successful, such as move stars. Ask yourself who is most likely to have the longest marital relationship? The successful movie star who seems to have everything and spends lavishly on themself or the subsistence farmer who lives and works for and with his family?

So much for defining success in terms of money, eh!

Our expectations can be our limitations. Life isn't a series of planned event that end when you reach the materialistic goal you've always desired. Once you have followed that rainbow you're sure to have that pot of gold.

Strangely, you still have to live with your desires, your fears, your limitations.

It's more like, "Ok, I've got the pot of gold, now how do I keep it safe." Do my friends really care for me or are they just after my pot of gold, my success, my fame? If you are paranoid to begin with, you can see that finding the end of the rainbow only makes you more fearful.

Life is not a travelogue that leads to the best of the best. Life occurs randomly. The best laid plans tend to go awry. Men make plans, and God laughs.

It is ok to plan to reach certain goals. The journey is best travelled without expecting the results to be exactly as you picture them. Enjoy the journey. Travel as though you have no destination in mind.

Where are you right now? Take it all in. This moment is Life. Take the next step. That too is life. Breath in now! Feel the goodness. This moment is Life.

Now, where was I? Oh yes! Following the thread of that thought.

Expectations

2008-07-25T17:24:31Z

Thinking is neither right nor wrong. It is what it is. Thoughts are the undirected flow of words and images in your mind.

Thinking is not action. Thinking is not the same as Being. Thinking is not doing.

It has been said that we judge others by their actions and ourselves, by our intentions. Judgement requires thinking.

Our intentions are just thoughts without action, a salve for our egos. As long as we believe we will do something, we can console ourselves for our lack of action.

Some of was want some white knight in shining armour to come along and make our intentions real. We look outside ourselves for a saviour, a motivator to spring us into action.

In reality, we know that will never happen. Only we, each of us, can move ourselves, as motivation suggests, to take the necessary steps to accomplish our intentions, hopes and dreams.

When I was young I believed life had some great task for me to perform. And, I believed I would live the great American dream finding both Fame and Fortune.

Yet here I am 65 years old, I've lived an ordinary life. How, am I to live with the disappointment. Or, should I be happy with the journey I have travelled?

This is your story. You can live in the past with regret and disappointment or worry about the future. You can focus on your lack, or you can focus on your abundance.

Thinking is a tool. A plan is a guide to action. Anything else is a waste of time designed to make you believe you are taking some real action.

That is not to say that it is wrong to choose not to do something. Whatever you choose to do is best for you. Accepting that you actually are choosing without condemning yourself or others is a different matter.

You choose change. You choose risk. You choose to do something that you feel is best for you. As you move in the direction you want to go, as you experience the path you choose, you accept what it is.

Whatever happens, is. You cannot change it. You can make efforts to alter the path you are on; once you become aware of what is happening, there is nothing you can do to change it.

You can only direct your attention to the next event that you are experiencing. You do choose your path, in the next moment, which is now this moment., which is now already past, and that is now.

It feels weird, something like a mathematical puzzle. Yet, there is always one more moment ahead of you to look forward to. That is life.

If you want to write a story, you need to come into the room where your computer is. Then you need to sit at the chair and turn on the computer. All the while you are breathing and feeling and seeing around you.

What you write may be full of thoughts and fears and hopes. Your worry about not getting your message across, you worry that others will see you as weird, you hope that your message will at least touch one other person.

All of those things happen in the moment. Aware of this moment, you simply accept that thoughts are events that occur in you mind.

Touching the keys on the keyboard is real; the fear and doubt in you mind is imagined.

I have been on a journey. I accept that my experiences did not meet my expectations. But what does that mean? Are imagined standards something useful to judge myself by?

Imagination is nothing but imagination. We all have a sad and woeful story to tell. Yet, I am real and here and now. Being is what I have, even if I were the King of Canada.

Reality is what is set out before you in this very moment. You gotta love it. There isn't anything else. Yesterday is part of the history and tomorrow is the unknown.

So Breathe in this moment and feel it in all your pores. And remember to see, taste, smell, touch and feel every moment as though it is the only one you have.

That is Living and Being in the moment.

Expect nothing more.

In The Now

2008-07-02T17:52:02Z

Imagining is not the same as living! You can engage your mind in 'what-ifs' about the future. You can spend all your time imagining 'what-ifs' about the past.

Your life is happening, NOW, while your attention is focused elsewhere.

Neither disappointment about the past nor worry about the future make any difference to the outcome. You still experience life moment by moment.

Let's use our mind to picture a situation.

Imagine that you are along a path when you come to two doors. You know that behind each door is a path that leads to some unknown adventure. Neither path is right or wrong. Each will give you a living experience.

No matter which door you choose, your life will take you in that direction. And, you will have to follow wherever that path leads and through whatever obstacles you encounter.

If you are afraid of the unknown, you may choose to stand and simply be, lost in your fear. Life is full of surprises. You still pass through the obstacles you encounter.

If, having chosen the path of least effort and you make the best of every moment, then you will find peace and joy. No matter which door you choose, there will always be one you did not choose.

If, on the other hand, you live a life of regret because you did not open one those doors, then you will miss the opportunity to live life in full appreciation of every moment.

The moment you have experienced something, seen it, heard it, felt it, touched it, tasted it, smelled it, it has already become "what is". You cannot change 'what is'. It is forever a "done deal". You can fight all you want, you cannot erase it.

Accept what is and move on.

Being is awareness of life as you live it, moment by moment.

Recently, Dan, who is the moderator of our Thursday night group and a friend, put this same idea very eloquently.

"The past does not really exist. This means that the future does not really exist. This is because you cannot have a future without a past, just like you cannot have an inside without an outside. But YOU exist. YOU KNOW this to be TRUE and furthermore this is the only fact that YOU really know. So if YOU exist, then you must exist NOW and not in the future or the past.

To exist in the dimension of NOW, without a future or past, means that you are Eternal. On the other hand, what does exist in the past and the future are your acquired personalities, which are processes running in your mind and are not eternal. And, if you believe you are these personalities, then you may unknowingly believe that you may not continue. Dan"

Being All That Is

2008-06-21T21:12:11Z

What is, Is!

Being is silence.

Be still and observe.

Be in the now!

Don't delude yourself by thinking that you are living at any other moment than NOW. Anything else is just illusion.

You cannot find joy as though it were an overcoat to put on. And joy will not come to you on some beautiful sunshiny day.

Creating a story for yourself is not going to enlighten you. If you let your mind control you, it will gladly tell you the stories you want to believe. Your ego, your conscious mind, operates in fear of losing control.

Joy, truth and love are just labels. If you are aware of yourself as Being within the divinity of Life then just being is Joy, Truth and Love. there is no separateness. There is no name or label that can explain it to you.

You do not need to do anything but experience life.

It isn't Love OR Fear. There is no need to create separateness by opposites or choosing between extremes. Being just is. Your are Love and Truth and Joy just by Being. You are the energy of life.

Your mind wants to spell out all the things, attach labels, spin stories, explain, touch, set rules, set limits, cast spells, control, create laws. It wants to join the all the dots together.

I am not the dialog in my head. I am not the body that will perish. I am not the man that is suffering this life. I am the Being that lives in the man. I am the Being experiencing this life, this mind, this body, this moment.

I am the Gift of Life for this body.

There is no border. No limitations. There are no words. There are no feelings. I am one.

Being.

Be still in mind and body and observe. Then you will Be. Then you will BE ALL THAT IS.

I Am. Being.

2008-03-13T14:26:56Z

I Am.
Being.
Consciousness.

Aware that I think.
Aware of my thoughts.

I remember in my thoughts.
I look forward in my thoughts.

I am the watcher.
I am the owner of the mind.
My thoughts are not my identity.

I am aware.
I am the Being who is aware.

I think in the now.
I see, feel, hear in the now.

I Am. This is the situation I am in.
This is just the circumstances in which I find myself.
This is not me.

Peace is within me, as I know that I must continue to be and to cope with my situation.

I am happy to be.

Joyful, full of joy, at experiencing this moment.

The Becoming Aware Exercise.

Sit in a comfortable chair where you can be alone without distractions for a few moments. Close your eyes.

Begin by focusing on your breathing. Hear the sound as you breathe slowly in and out. Feel the air flowing into and out of your lungs.

If a thought comes into your mind, distracting you from your focusing on your breath, simply be aware of it. Accept whatever content it may have without entertaining the thought for any length of time. Say to yourself "This is only a thought in my mind". Then focus once again on your breathing.

Now, focus on your feet. Feel the sensations in your feet. Become aware of the pulsing of the blood through your feet. Feel the way your skin wraps around to shape your foot. Feel the edge of the skin on your toes where it meets the edge of your toe nails.

Then take your attention and move it to feel the from your ankles to you knees. Feel the pulsing, feel the skin wrapping around your ankle, lower leg and knees.

Do this for each group of parts as you work up your body. Knees to waist. Waist to shoulders. Shoulders to tips of your arms. Shoulders to top of your head. Ears, eyes, nose, lips.

Each time a distracting thought enters you mind, taking your attention away from your present focus, acknowledge, accept how it makes you feel, then say "This is just a thought."

Now, focus on any object you see when you open your eyes. Feels it's presence as though you are seeing it for the first time; as though it is brand new to you.

Whenever your thoughts drift, focus again on the task at hand. Be aware of what you sense in your body.

This is the practice of Being in the here and now. Through out the day, whenever your mind drifts from the task at hand, accept the thoughts. Say to yourself "These are just thoughts." Acknowledge that you are thinking a distracting thought. Then direct your attention once again to the task at hand.

The Only Time That Is.

By the time you observe something it is already past.

As you look over those events that you observe, you search your mind for meaning. Your meaning, your interpretation, based on your experiences.

Each time you remember those events, you re-interpret them to mean the same or you change them for better or worse according to your mood.

You cannot change the events you have observed, but you can change how you interpret them.

Being In The Now

Being is knowing that life happens in this moment.

You can remember the past, just don't re-live it. Acknowledge how it makes you feel. Accept the memory as just a thought.

You can plan for the future. Accept that as just another thought. Then focus on the task you need to do now to get to your goal. Be totally absorbed by that task in this moment.

Being here, in the now, brings peace from the voice in your mind.

Awakening

2008-03-03T16:27:14Z

We are on the road to enlightenment when we become aware that our thought processes create illusions.

Before you start analyzing the picture below, you may want to get a pencil and paper to write down exactly what you are thinking as you go through this article. As you look at the picture write down any thoughts, experiences, statements or questions that you have.

Write down exactly what you are thinking, what your thought processes are, as you look at this picture.

What do you see?

An image.

What does the image represent.

Two faces or a vase.

What is this phenomenon called?

An optical illusion.

Ask yourself why this is called an optical illusion when you have to think to process the information about the image?

Here are my thoughts on this.

Firstly I had to identify that I was looking at some ink on paper or an image on a screen. Then I had to give it a name. "Oh, it's an optical illusion." Then my mind triggered a process of identifying what I was looking at by searching my memory of experiences to find similar looking objects. The two faces jumped out at me (black filled spaces), then the vase (the white filled space).

Is this really an optical illusion or did I mentally talk myself into interpreting what I was seeing to make sense of it?

Do you remember the first time you were shown an optical illusion? Someone had to explain to you how to see the objects, what mental processes you needed to start to see the objects.

That makes this image a mental illusion, not an optical one. So the label 'optical illusion' is really an illusion itself.

The same thing happens in everyday life. Someone has explained to you the mental processes you need to use to see the illusions as they see them.

This is how you are prepared for life in the society that you live. You are told what to call something by giving it a label, then you are told how to process the information about that label.

You mentally talk yourself into seeing and understanding things around you in the same way as everyone else in your society or religion or any group you belong to. That is the influence of language. The language you speak and the words you use to describe something take you through mental processes that create generally accepted illusions.

Your mind then, which is all your thought processes and memories, is trained to see things in a certain way.

When you become aware that there are mental processes at work, that they run automatically, that your mind guides you to certain conclusions then you are on the road to enlightenment.

Life is experienced through the five senses. You are enlightened when you realize that you can mentally step into the gap between your what you are experiencing at the moment and how you interpret it.

When you can perceive anything, simply enjoying it for what it is, as sensations within your senses, without labels, judgements or interpretation, when you can accept all as being within your experience and life force you will have experienced enlightenment.

Having stepped into the gap between experience and mental processes, you will be in total control of the tool that is your mind, you will be in total control of your mental activity, of your judgements, of your interpretations.

You will be totally responsible for your behaviour and not be a slave to events around you. You will have no buttons that others can push.

An excellent book about this process is available at Amazon: The New Earth by Ekhart Tolle

Whose Mind Is It?

2008-02-25T18:44:26Z

Pushing Buttons

Last week a friend and I were discussing different thoughts about spirituality. When I mentioned being responsible for your thinking, the friend objected.

"People can push your buttons", he said.

"What buttons?", I asked. "Show me the buttons."

"It's just a way of speaking", he replied.

"Exactly!", I agreed. He looked at me in a manner that suggested exasperation, as though that wasn't quite what he expected.

OK! So there are no buttons. Only your imagination calling things buttons. The buttons are in your mind. They are just your thoughts. You say it's just a way of speaking. That is your thoughts again.

Call those thoughts what they really are. Your reactions, your automatic reactions, to what people say that you do not want to hear.

There are several things going on here. Your expectations of how people should think and act. The language you choose to dramatize the effect of other peoples' actions on you. And, how you choose to react to what people say to you or do around you. You are also saying everyone else is wrong and you are right.

First off, let us talk about the chain of events. Someone comes to you and says something. You remember that you don't like being told that. Then you react by speaking in anger or whatever.

You expect people to behave according to your standards, your expectations. They have their own standards. They are their own person. You cannot tell another adult how to behave. It is their choice. Are you expecting the whole world to behave according to your standards?

You remember, in an earlier article, I wrote about a little test that you can give yourself. If someone came up to you and did something to "push your buttons" how would you react.

What if that someone were your boss? Would you react exactly the same way as if it were your child or wife or husband? Besides which, you can respond by getting angry, or by joking or by changing subjects. I'm sure you can think of many other ways besides getting angry.

We choose how we react. As someone pointed out to me, if you take your time and respond rather than react, allowing yourself some time to think about what your response will be, you will likely make a wiser choice.

Past, Now, Future

Where do you live? Lost in the past reproaching yourself for things you might have done? Or worrying about the future?

What is happening to you right now? Now is the only time! Everything else is a re-interpreted memory of past events or your imagination of what may or may not happen. Both are, at this moment in time, just illusions. Tricks in your mind.

Someone asked what I meant by enlightenment. My definition is very simple. You are enlightened when you become aware of your thoughts. When you become aware that what happens in your mind is your responsibility. You are in control of your mind.

Simple does not mean easy. Your automatic programs are so engrained that they will run when you least expect them to. Just be patient with yourself.

If you are aware of your thoughts then accept that the automatic program ran and acknowledge that it needs changing. Then next time you are faced with a similar event you step back and do something different.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying memories from the past. And there is nothing wrong with making plans for the future.

There is a difference, though, in constantly reliving the past or worrying about the future. Nothing can be gained by either. Life happens here and now.

Being constantly lost in thought is not being aware of what is happening now.

You can easily focus on the moment, by noticing your surroundings, by really seeing the person in front of you, or by become aware of the warmth of your hands, the position of your feet or focusing on your breathing.

Direct your senses to what is around you. Focus your mind on absorbing everything in your immediate environment with deciding if it is right or wrong or according to your expectations.

Life just happens. Whatever happens just is.

The path we choose at any moment is the path we live. The only choices we have are the ones available to us at this moment, here and now.

Seeking Truth

The other night, I watched a program on TV, titled Truth Seekers. Two scientists were seeking the reason for our awareness. How are we aware that we are conscious?

Each collected information about near death experiences. The first scientist presented a theory that we have a soul. We are spiritual beings. The second scientist presented the theory that everything can be explained by our material brain mechanisms.

They both looked at the same statistics, yet both arrived at different conclusions.

My conclusions are that science is not infallible. Scientists are just human beings searching for answers just like all other human beings.

Like all other human beings, they are selective in what they choose to believe. They generalize, distort and discard any evidence that disprove their theories. On the other hand, both could be right. Their theories are not mutually exclusive.

Our mind is a tool. Our mind is not there to punish us or torment us. We cannot make all the choices available to us at any time.

With practice, we can learn to use it for our personal benefit, our happiness, our enjoyment.

The Road To Light

2008-02-17T20:38:54Z

What is enlightenment?

We seek answers to life and meaning for our existence. We go toward the light.

You are well on your way to enlightenment when you become aware of your thoughts as things. When you can stand back mentally and see what you are saying and seeing in your mind.

When you become aware that you are in control of those thoughts and that they are not just reactions to what happens to you, then you are fully in the light.

You choose how you react, even if you seem to make automatic response, at some time in your experience you decided to make this the one and only response to similar events. And, now that little program runs automatically and you have repressed the choices you made.

You choose the thoughts in your mind. It is your mind after all. You alone are responsible for what goes on in your mind, what your attitude is, what your mood is, how you perceive the world, what you expect the world to be.

And, once you realize that the only time that you can be real is in the now, now is the only time, you are fully enlightened.

This idea is simple, though simple doesn't mean easy. You will need to be forever vigilant to recognize when your thoughts are negative or unproductive to your well being.

The past is just history. Every time you review your past memories you rewrite something to them. They change over time. And, besides, your memories are just your interpretation of events you lived through. Others may actually remember them differently.

If you anticipate the future, all you are doing is projecting your past experience forward. You can not experience the future now. It can only happen by living the next moment and the next.

What you keep telling yourself about the world, and about your self as a being, changes what you think and do. Your choice of words makes a difference in what you think and do.

Stop and think for a moment about how you behave in relation to friends or family, how you react to events around you. Describe those behaviours to yourself. Do you simply react to whatever happens, or do you calmly think of the changes of responses that you could make?

Do you fit everything into neat little categories? Is everything slotted into good or bad?

Who has convinced you that one thing is good, while another is bad? That one person is good and the other is bad?

In our need to understand we often create explanations for events just to satisfy that need. In a sense it gives us control over the world around us.

As human beings we all make assumptions and judgements. Are we simply confirming our beliefs or do we carefully examine the accuracy of our conclusions? Do our beliefs reinforce negative attitudes or positive ones?

Enlightenment means we are aware that our beliefs are subjective. What I choose to believe and how I talk to myself about those beliefs will affect how I continue to choose my thoughts and make conclusions about the world around me.

Enlightenment is a spiritual experience. For myself, I accept that I can not understand the mystery that we call God. No human mind can, though I can hope to someday.

God, as we call the Mystery, is not only within us, but we in God.

I am a spiritual being discovering humanity, not a human being seeking spirituality.

I accept that I cannot make the world over to suit my beliefs. I cannot change the world to meet my expectations. The world behaves in a manner that is not within my control.

I am grateful for this moment, for this life I live and experience and the Being that I am.

I forgive all who have caused me any discomfort.

I forgive myself for interpreting others actions as being a discomfort to me.

I forgive myself for any discomfort I may have caused others. I forgive myself for any interpretation that may have caused my own problems.

I forgive myself for having limiting thoughts about my abilities. I alone am responsible for my choices and interpretations of others words and behaviours.

I strive every day to witness to my own thoughts, to make myself aware of my minds ability to create causes out of unrelated effects and events. The explanations I give myself for others behaviour are not necessary. They live their own mind view and I live mine.

I do not keep the past alive! I take the lessons learned, I find the joy in happy moments. I appreciate the past I have lived to get me to this moment. I avoid ruminating over my limiting thoughts about the past events.

A person can only push your buttons if you accept your explanation for an event. Your response will make all the difference. If you were to crack a joke instead of reacting angrily, you would soon be in control of every situation.

Listen to the voice in your mind. Watch those words and images that the voice creates. You are the Being in the corner observing those thoughts.

You are not those words and images. You are the Being in control of your mind.

By focusing on your immediate environment, the people around you and Nature as you walk and live through it, you will reduce the control the baggage and clutter of your mind.

Now is the only time.

Tricks of The Mind

2008-01-22T16:29:12Z

We convince ourselves that we what we think is the TRUTH. Our thoughts are the facts. After all, we are putting our ideas into words, so doesn't that count for something?

If someone writes about something, doesn't that mean it is the truth?

If we choose to read only non-fiction books because we are only interested in being objective, unemotional and dispassionate, are we really choosing to be any of these? Or are we just fuelling our beliefs?

All beliefs are assumptions; all beliefs are unproven convictions. If they were anything else, they would be proven facts and we would not speak of them as beliefs.

If we accept the belief that we can separate our behaviour from our emotions, that we are truly ignoring our feelings in making decisions, then everything we do in our career will simply re-enforce that belief.

Beliefs form a closed loop in how we think. You believe something is true and you discount anything that would go against or disprove what you believe. You direct your attention to, and make more important in your mind, those things that prove your belief.

Because you believe you are more intelligent than other people, those people should not insult your intelligence be doing or saying something that insults your intelligence. You are not a fool therefore you do not tolerate fools lightly.

But what is intelligence? How do you measure it? No one has been able to define intelligence in a way that it can easily be measured without a whole series of assumptions.

We all use the word intelligent as though we really know what it is. We certainly believe that we are intelligent. Yet intelligence has not be clearly defined or measured.

We use the word soul or spirit as though we really know what we are talking about. Yet, the soul has not been factually and scientifically identified.

We can speak words that the human being is an emotional, spiritual, rational or physical being but can we prove it?

We have difficulty proving that these characteristics are separate one from the other. It all depends on your perception and perceptions depend on your beliefs. Perhaps we should stop talking as though our behaviour makes us a fragmented human.

So our language and the definition of words clearly influence how and what we think about. If our language only supported counting to three our concepts about size and numbers would change the way we think about everything. And, there are civilizations that did exactly that.

That is the essence of belief. We use words as though we know what they mean and behave and think as though they are facts.

Beliefs are convictions based on a lack of proof. Our beliefs are so built into our way of thinking that it is difficult to separate real facts from imagined. In fact, we cannot separate our thinking from our beliefs, no more than we can separate ourselves into emotional, rational, spiritual and physical parts.

Yet we can put words on those things as though we really know what they are as though we can see something in our behaviour that identifies each separate part, but in fact, they are never separate. They are all part of the one and same person.

That is the problem. Words do not necessarily match the facts. We can talk about intelligence, for example, as though we really know it exists, but we have a difficult time proving what it is.

Just because we can speak a word that we can look up in a dictionary does not make it any more factual than another word which we do not believe.

What we believe now are truths. What others believe are myths and therefore evil.

Whether we choose to believe something or not doesn't make us superior to anyone else or give us any special advantage. They are our beliefs.

Often we believe something because we are told that unless we believe it there will be consequences. Believe this or you will be punished either now or later.

And we can all prove our beliefs because we have conducted a lot of mind experiments even if all thought experiments are just science-fiction. Every science fiction book I read when I was twelve was a thought experiment.

We all make assumptions and judgements living day to day. Choose to believe or not believe, it makes no difference. You cannot prove a belief either way. And you are still just believing.

Beliefs are something we know because we just think it is so. We interpret our experience as though it proves what we know.

And round and round we go again.

I believe it is important to believe and to allow others to have their own belief unless they threaten the well being of others.

But then, maybe it is all just tricks of the mind.

Discovering Self

2008-01-15T16:25:02Z

Discovering self does not mean being selfish. In fact, it is exactly the opposite.

Once you have discovered that your thoughts, negative and positive, influence how you behave, you gain control of your life, your thoughts, your feelings and your behaviour. You choose how you think. Your life is not controlled by random events.

Being responsible for your thoughts and behaviour, you realize that others are also responsible for their own behaviour even if they have not yet discovered that responsibility.

What does that mean to you? Now, you are able to react (or respond if you prefer) in a more self-controlled manner toward others. You know to treat them with more empathy for the struggle they are going through. Discovering self is being more accepting of yourself and others.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear is just how we choose to look at events for which there really is no need to fear. We fear meeting strangers, for example, but the reasons we give ourselves are just our imagination, our lack of self-confidence.

Self discovery is a journey that requires you to learn to accept yourself exactly as you are. Warts and all. You are a human being who faces the same problems as all other beings. You are born, you survive however you can, then you die. That is the facts of life.

You are here to experience all aspects of life. Be thankful for every breath, for every experience you have ever had, even the negative ones. Life is lived breath by breath. Be grateful for every aspect of life without which you would be able to experience feelings, love, anger, excitement or happiness.

While you are it, forgive those who you think may have offended you. After all, it is all in perception. You may believe they have offended, but their intention may have been something else. And, forgive yourself for all the human things that you have done that you are not proud of. We all make mistakes.

Learn from your mistakes and your successes. Accept the circumstances and move on.

Memories of the past are a terrible place to choose to live because you are giving up time living in the here and now. You can only live and breathe and be in the now.

If you never learn to accept yourself as you are, for the human being you are, for the living being you are, you will never be fully in control of yourself. You will always blame circumstances for your happiness, for your success or failure, for your wealth or lack of it.

Accepting that the world is as it is and that you cannot change it to suit your mind's expectations is a good beginning.

Learning to hear yourself think and accepting yourself as exactly the person you choose to be, will give you the power to conquer even your worst fears. Learning that you only change yourself, your perception of the world will give you the most control over your life you have ever experienced.

Changing how you view the world will not change who you are. You will still be you, the wonderful life-loving being that you are. You will discover that you are strong, You will discover that the journey is everything. You will discover that even Death does not frighten you.

Accept the world and yourself. Be grateful for every day and moment that you can experience. Forgive yourself and others for failing. Learn to monitor your thinking to control your mind.

Self discovery brings happiness to yourself and others because you are in control of your actions, feelings and thoughts.

Illusions

2008-01-02T19:17:30Z

I recently watched Chris Angel MindFreak doing an interview with Larry King. Chris said many things about his career and becoming successful as a magician.

Now that he has reached his goal of being a popular magician, he is less happy doing the job than when he was struggling to get there.

Having everything just means that you have to work hard to maintain it. He works seven days a week and has no time for himself, or a family.

His advice is to, take more time for yourself and not rush the journey. The journey is the fun part. Success is not what he expected it to be.

Chris creates illusions, he plays with peoples minds. They are tricks. The audience is a willing participant in the illusion. What you believe you see is not actually what is happening.

Chris, along with other magicians such as The Amazing Randi, has offered to anyone who says they have mystical powers, that he can explain exactly how they are doing it. They too are creating illusions, many for profit.

Everything in life is an illusion. Our minds create our world by assigning meaning to what our senses observe. By thinking we assign causes to the effects that we observe.

Our past is an illusion. We focus our minds on those explanations of events that suit us. If our outlook is negative then our interpretation of events will be negative.

At anytime in life, any event can be interpreted as either positive or negative, even the loss of a loved one.

As heart breaking as the loss of a loved one is, you can be thankful that their struggle with life's problems are over. And, if you believe in an afterlife, your loved one is there enjoying that afterlife.

That is not to say that you will not miss them or that you will not mourn them, only that you have accepted the loss. Acceptance allows you to get on with life.

Living in the here and now means that we we simply accept without prejudice or judgement whatever life presents to us at any given moment.

If our minds create explanations, then why not choose the ones that will make you the happiest. Having a positive outlook on life makes you more productive, makes you feel fulfilled, makes everyone around you feel better.

Happiness is an illusion. Love is an illusion. Fear is an illusion. Since all of these are just illusions and our minds create illusions of everything then, why not just create the best illusion for ourselves.

The only fear that is justified is the fear that you will lose your life. We have learned everything else from our parents, our teachers and our interpretation of our experiences.

We create explanations for events around us. We explain other people's behaviour as though we can read their minds. We explain a car crash as though we know exactly what happened in the car itself.

What control do we have of our lives, if not our minds? We cannot control the minds of others despite what religion believes. Even the faithful each have there own interpretation of what each religious rule means. Each practices their faith according to the illusions they want to believe.

If you say that someone made you angry is that truth or illusion? Can someone control your mind? Have you given them the right to tell you what to think, how to feel, how you will behave?

Sure, your boss tells you what you need to do at work to accomplish a task, but does he tell you what to think about it? You probably think that he is bossy or worse. You decide what you think and what you say to him.

Your are responsible for your thinking, your feelings, your behaviour. You choose how you will respond to any event, whether it is someone not returning your smile, saying something that you allow to irritate you or a machine breaking down at the most inconvenient moment.

Scientists can offer explanations but, never completely solve the mysteries. Science is an illusion every bit as much as explanations we offer. Science is not all seeing. It is another perception. An attempt to explain cause and effect.

No matter how many mathematical equations they use to explain, the mathematical equations are no better than the illusion of the explanation. An abstract model can never be reality.

Birth and death are realities. What we perceive with our senses are realities. The sun rises and sets. The oceans ebb and flow. The seasons come and go. Creatures live and die.

We as humans want to know why all these things happen. We offer explanations. We dream up reasons. We analyze causes and effects. None of these are real. They are manufactured models of reality.

Our minds are not capable of holding all the changes that occur so we make believe that some of the changes do not happen. Then we try to explain those limited things, as though our model of the world, the one we hold in our minds, the one we call abstract thinking, as though that makes them more real.

Reality is not a concept in our minds. Or, maybe it is. And concepts are illusions.

Take witnesses at an incident. Mythbusters on A&E is a great way to learn what is real and what is not. The hosts of Mythbusters planned an incident without telling all their assistants. They hired actors to stage an argument about delivering a package to one of the hosts.

When the assistants were asked to recall any of the events to provide evidence for a court proceeding, none of them actually remembered anything significant that could be used in a court of law. It wasn't until they were hypnotized, that they actually recalled anything of importance, like tattoos and name tags.

The point here is that no matter how little you remember of an event you will try to explain to yourself what happened. You will draw conclusions and make judgements with very little real information.

So what do you see at a magic show? Only what the magician wants you to believe that you see. If he wants you to believe that he is flying, like Chris Angel does so often, then that is what you will see.

And, if you can believe that, what about what you believe about life? Even what I say here is based on a model. I know that I create models of life and offer explanations for what happens.

Don't be unhappy with life because it doesn't live up to your expectations, your illusions. Focus on the most common denominator. Be thankful that you have a life to be here to experience. From this viewpoint you can accept whatever life brings to you.

If life is an illusion, then choose the illusion that brings you the most happiness.